Have you ever gone grocery shopping on an empty stomach? If so, how many impulse buys did you make that day? Maybe you walked in needing just a carton of eggs and some fruit, but somehow you left with peanut M&Ms, a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and chocolate milk (because you heard it’s good for post-workout recovery). You don’t even work out regularly, so why you bought that chocolate milk is beyond you.
We’ve all made rash decisions when our self-control is low. And when we go grocery shopping hungry, that self-control tends to take a hit. It’s not just about impulse buys at the store either; self-control—or lack thereof—shows up in so many aspects of our lives: avoiding conflict with a coworker, resisting the temptation to grab fast food, or pushing ourselves to work out when all we want to do is binge-watch The Office.
The good news is that self-control is something we can improve. Just like fitness, self-discipline can be strengthened with consistent practice. Let’s dive into how we can build better self-control, so we can make more intentional decisions in our daily lives.
The Ego Depletion Theory: Is Self-Control Really Limited?
At one point, psychologists believed in a theory called Ego Depletion. This idea suggested that we have a limited amount of self-control each day, and once it’s depleted, we give in to our temptations. For example, we might choose the stairs over the elevator in the morning, resist that afternoon snack, and avoid snapping back at an irritating colleague—only to skip our evening workout because we’ve used up all our willpower.
If this sounds familiar, it’s because it’s how many of us experience self-discipline. However, recent studies have disproven the Ego Depletion theory. In a 2003 study, psychologists Muraven and Slessareva found that individuals who were “depleted” in their self-control still made decisions based on their motivation levels. Those who were highly motivated by specific goals or milestones showed more resilience in the face of temptation.
They also discovered that self-control is like a muscle—it can grow stronger with practice. So, the more we practice making intentional decisions, the more self-control we will have moving forward. If you want to learn more about their study, you can read it here: Mechanisms of Self-Control Failure: Motivation and Limited Resources.
Four Ways to Practice and Improve Self-Control
Now that we understand a bit more about how self-control works, let’s look at four practical strategies to improve it.
1. Self-Awareness: Know When You’re Vulnerable
The first step in improving self-control is being aware of when it’s hardest to resist temptation. If you didn’t get enough sleep the night before, you’re likely to be more irritable and less patient. This can make it harder to stay calm when that annoying coworker speaks up in a meeting.
Being self-aware means recognizing your triggers. If you know you’re tired, maybe it’s a good idea to listen to music or a podcast to avoid letting your frustration boil over. The key is to acknowledge your vulnerability and take steps to steer clear of situations where your self-control might falter.
2. Believe in Your Willpower
It might sound simple, but believing in your own ability to exercise willpower can actually make a big difference. If you subscribe to the Ego Depletion theory, you may find it harder to make good decisions as the day goes on, thinking that your self-control is running out. But if you shift your mindset and believe that you have unlimited willpower, you’ll be less likely to give in to temptations.
Start telling yourself that you can make it through the day without letting your desires derail your goals. Positive self-talk can reinforce your ability to stay on track, even when the day gets tough.
3. Exercise Regularly: Build Your Self-Discipline
One of the best ways to improve self-control is through regular physical activity. Exercise isn’t just great for your body; it also helps train your mind. By committing to regular workouts, you’re practicing self-discipline in a tangible way. And this commitment translates into other areas of your life.
Research shows that regular physical activity improves emotional control, eating habits, spending behavior, study habits, and even household chores. A study published in Psychology and Health found that students who exercised regularly reported lower stress levels and healthier habits, including better emotional regulation and less reliance on caffeine and smoking. So, if you’re trying to build more self-control, hitting the gym or going for a run is a powerful way to start.
4. Implementation Intentions: Follow Through on Your Goals
One of the simplest yet most effective ways to improve self-control is through implementation intentions. This just means following through on what you’ve planned. For example, if you plan to meal prep for the week, follow through on that intention instead of caving to the temptation to order takeout.
When you set clear intentions and make them specific—like “I will meal prep every Sunday afternoon”—you’re much more likely to stick with your goals. The key is to make a plan and then commit to it. Whether it’s a fitness goal, a work task, or a habit you want to build, following through on your intentions helps reinforce your self-discipline.
Conclusion
Self-control is something we all struggle with from time to time, but it doesn’t have to be a battle we lose. By practicing self-awareness, believing in our willpower, committing to regular exercise, and following through on our goals, we can strengthen our self-discipline and make better decisions—whether it’s resisting the urge to buy that bag of chips or pushing ourselves to get to the gym after a long day.
Remember, self-control is like a muscle. The more we exercise it, the stronger it gets. So, next time you’re tempted to make an impulse buy at the grocery store or skip your workout, think about how far you’ve come in building your self-discipline. You’ve got this!
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